"You have reached your destination."

Blimey! This picture takes me back. About 5 years ago my agent Bernie Shimshelwitz landed me a part in a two hander with Bob Carolgees at the Theatre Royal, Carshalton. To be honest it was a dire little play based on the underwhelming career of cricket umpire Bob Foggle. As opening night approached ticket sales indicated that 'Earth, Wind Umpire' was not an exciting prospect for the theatre lovers of Carshalton. Determined to bring a buzz to the premier of the play Bernie called me to say that himself, Mrs S, my dear old Nan and my barrista Dan Tang were all going to jump in his new Saab and bomb it over to Carshalton for curtain up. Knowing that Shimshelwitz's sense of direction was at best frightening I offered to fax over directions to the theatre but Bernie insisted that the in car Sat Nav would guide him with sherpa sharp precision to the venue. Unfortunately Bernie did not take the Sat Nav's predictive text feature into account when he typed 'CARSHALTON' into the machine and was as surprised as the next man (Dan Tang) when he was directed straight through the fontage of the local car showroom. an apologetic Bernie placated the owners of the business by offering them free tickets to the play. A gesture that turned out to be worthless as our 12 week run was cancelled at the interval for being, as one of the kinder reviews suggested "Shitter than shit." I never worked with Carolgees again.