Cat on a hot tan poof

Mystery has long surrounded the events that led Montecore the tiger (pictured centre) to have a swipe at handler Roy Horn (pictured right. Your right) According to Roy’s onstage partner Siegfried Farnon (pictured left of centre and right of Roy) Roy had slipped on some tanning lotion and hit the deck like a sack of shit. Thinking that a concussed Roy was a cub in danger Montecore attempted to drag Roy from the stage and bring him round by bashing his bonce in. Reports state that on the way to the hospital a blathering Roy mustered up enough juice to whisper: “Don’t kill the cat.” A magnanimous gesture that earned Roy nish praise from animal lovers worldwide. In actual fact the true events that took place (according to my agent Bernie Shimshelwitz) were very different. What Horn actually screamed on the way to hospital was “Don’t kill the cat…Stab it right up…Just get it dead.” Not surprisingly the real reason Montecore the tiger took a pop at Roy Horn was because he thought he was a proper dick. End of.