A bum deal

I’ve taken on some unlikely roles in my many years in the business, but rarely have I stooped lower than when my agent, Bernie Shimshelwitz, persuaded me to play Andy Garcia’s arse double in the, straight to DVD bargain bin, debacle ‘Things To Do In Devon Then Instead’. Now Garcia has a famously hirsute chest and back (see here) but, strangely, this does not extend to his backside which resembles Grant Mitchell having his way with Gail Porter. Enter Harrison Banks then for the not so hilarious “Quick-pull-up-your-pants-my-grandson’s-home” scene. Now I’m quite proud of my bum, which has been likened to two boiled eggs in a mohair sock, but I could’ve done without the constant sniggering of the crew and a director who kept insisting I was coiffeured between takes because “There’s just no way Mr Garcia would have a centre parting.”
More humiliation followed at the wrap party when I had to drop me cords and take a bow before Andy even recognised me.
What goes around comes around though as I was the only cast member to get a decent review.