Twice Knightly

I got a call from Brendan, the landlord from the Rabbit and Ladder last night. He was urging me to get down there as, out of the blue, Kiera Knightly had wandered in for a Taboo and Blackcurrant. When I arrived the place was heaving, even Paranoid Polaroid Pete the local paparazzo was there with his Box Brownie. It was all a waste of time though. I’ve been in this game long enough to be able to spot a ringer. It wasn’t Kiera Knightly at all but some bird on the books at Starlike Express lookie likee agency. Starlike has a reputation of taking on people who don’t actually look that much like their subjects. The company formed some twenty years ago when a bloke that looked just a tiny bit like Dennis Waterman started doing public appearances as 'The Re-Minder'. It seems they're keeping up with the times and Brendan was well pleased with the business Kiera Slightly brought to the Rabbit and Ladder. Fairdos I suppose.
Other Starlike Express clients include; Roger Mooreorless, Jerry Hallmost, Rudolph Nearenough, Oliver Hardly, Nicole y’Kiddingman, Keith Moonie, Nearlee Van Cleef and P Diddie Eckerslike

(email me email@harrisonbanks.co.uk if you can think of any suitable applicants for Starlike representation and I’ll pass them on.)

"I've just bumped into Nearly Sedaka outside Mornington Crescent tube." - James, UK

"Glenn Close??" - James, UK

"How about the Queen guitarist - Brian Maybe?" - Klas, Sweden

"Similart Garfunkel??" - Dolph, USA

"Yoko Ono It Isn't - John Non Jovi" - Dale, UK

"Ronnie Corbitlikehim" - anon

"Asif-a Powell" - Kerry, UK

"Elaint Paige" - Peter, UK

"Mark Knotfler" "Gary Cooperhaps" "Danny De Wouldyoubelievito" "PartiAL Pacino"- Mark, UK

"Harvey Quite-el and Robert Di Nearo" - Lizzie, USA

"George Cloney" - Pez, UK

"John Bel-who's-he (Blues Brothers)" - Connor, USA