Whoever coined the phrase* ‘The camera never lies’ wouldn’t have bothered if they’d seen this photo of me taken at recent shoot for a ‘Man about Town’ feature for ‘Crash Mat’ magazine (a biannual publication for retired stuntmen.) I thought the shoot went really well but when the proofs came back it was obvious that something had gone tits up. Turns out the camera they used is known in the trade as the ‘Billy Bullshitter’ which would explain why its lens grew every time it took a picture of me. I don’t even smoke.
* It was actually my agent Bernie Shimshelwitz that coined the phrase ‘To coin a phrase.’ He earns a royalty every time someone uses one or coins a new one. He’s ‘raking it in.’ (That’s another £5.65 in the Shimshelwitz hedge fund.)
* It was actually my agent Bernie Shimshelwitz that coined the phrase ‘To coin a phrase.’ He earns a royalty every time someone uses one or coins a new one. He’s ‘raking it in.’ (That’s another £5.65 in the Shimshelwitz hedge fund.)
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