Olympic Opik

With the 2008 Olympic Games getting underway today Team GB has been joined by our very own Lib Dem MP and playboy to the stars Lembit Opik. His job will be to utilise his Marathon Man libido and cause fatigue amongst as many female athletes from opposing nations as possible. It’s over a week now since he was unceremonially dumped by his Cheeky Girl, so he’s carrying a couple of watermelons around in his Calvin Klein’s already. With his penchant for heavily made up girls and, more recently, twins I'm guessing that the synchronised swimmers’ quarters might be his first port of call. Spread yourself liberally Lembit.