My dear old Nan got nicked for shoplifting Saturday on Brick Lane market. She may look harmless, but that Zimmer satchel is actually stuffed with the 15 bottles of Sanatogen and one bottle of lime cordial she'd just nicked. She pulled it off by creating a distraction known in criminal circles as 'Piss yourself and cry". She would've got away with it too if she hadn't necked half a litre and drawn attention to herself by singing "Fifteen men and a bar of soap, Rugby, Rugby". Gawd bless her.
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