Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

I was asked by the local Am-Dram society if I’d do the make-up for their forthcoming production of ‘Stop the world I want to get off ' with the Women’s Institute (actually that sounds a bit weird). I like to support the amateur and I enjoy a challenge, so I rooted around in the loft and found my sister’s old DIY make-up toy (pictured). As you may know I’m a bit of a perfectionist so it turned into a long night and, eventually, after half a bottle of Pernod I fell asleep and GirlsWorld here toppled forward, face down, into my lap. Now, my dear old Nan’s been staying with me as part of her parole obligations (see below) and she chose that moment to burst in carrying a pint of Sanatogen for herself and an Ovaltine for me. “For the love of Christ Harrison” she shrieked, “has it come to this! You’re a celebrity aren’t you? Isn’t there a Cheeky Girl going begging?” My make-up experiment had disappeared next morning and I’m sure I heard Nan up in the loft bright and early hiding boxes and pausing to play ‘Simon’.