Jester my luck

Earlier in the year you may have seen me make a celebrity appearance on ‘Most Haunted’ with the scrumptious Yvette Fielding. Our remit was to spend the night in the long abandoned Prestwitch Mental Hospital. I’m here to tell you that that show is absolutely kosher. Luckily for me Yvette was clinging to me for most of the night after someone or something tickled her “in a dark place” close to the electrocution suite. I’ve grilled my agent, Bernie Shimshelwitz, long and hard about that particular episode since, and he swears he was playing championship ‘Fuzzy Duck’ in the Rabbit and Ladder at the time, so I have to believe it was a sinister spirit, albeit one with impeccable taste and an eye for an opportunity.
I was bricking it for most of the night myself ‘cos everywhere I went I was pursued by the faint sound of bells ringing, and every time I finished on the loo (countless times on the night) I heard the words ‘Tis done.’ whispered in my ear. I simply cannot catch a break can I? I’m haunted to this day by a D-list celebrity ghost. I always wanted the geezer from ‘Highway to Heaven’.