Yes?...I mean No! Yes?

Last year my agent, Bernie Shimshelwitz, decided to cash in on the celebrity chef craze by opening a top end London bakery with Gordon Ramsey. I knew this venture was doomed from the start for two reasons. Firstly, Bernie knows absolutely nada about bread (he thought Ciabatta was a character from Star Wars) And secondly, Ramsey’s a proper weapon. We all went out one night for a KFC and Gordon’s acting like a grade ‘A’ pomme de terre. Seriously, if I had a quid for every time that joker said the word ‘YES’ I would’ve had enough coin to clear my overdraft and still have change to take my dear old Nan to bingo. Spending an evening in London with a man that can only say ‘YES’ has serious consequences. All I can say is this. We left Chef Ramsey down Soho way, desperately wishing someone could hear him saying ‘NO’ through the gimp mask he was wearing. I’m guessing he found out the true meaning of The ‘F’ word that night.