R.I.P Frankie Fipps

Between 1993 and 1996 I was financially 'rolling in it' largely thanks to this man, my accountant, Frankie 'Nine Toes' Fipps. Frankie always claimed that he'd never 'cook' the books but rather 'flambe' them into a neat crepe shaped tax return. Frankie was a tradionalist and would only use an abacus and his fingers to calculate any sum which would often result in him having to use his nose to move the abacus beads. A great character, Frankie stunned us all in 1997 by dying. His funeral was attended by hundreds of his clients who had to be separated from the church by a police cordon after it was discovered that Frankie had taken most of our money and invested it heavily in cosmetic surgery on his feet. He took his abacus with him, along with 157 P45's